Green with Envy

There’s a lot of misconception about adulthood in general, but especially about what it means to be a young adult. We’re given tons of advice, often unhelpful, on how we should and shouldn’t adjust to young adulthood. How we should be living.

As a young adult, you’re somewhere in the middle of being solely responsible for yourself, while simultaneously not knowing how to take care of yourself at all. Even with the best support system, there are some things about adulting that you will just have to learn on your own. 

That being said, it’s easy to see someone else at the same stage of life as you and want to compare their accomplishments or life to your own. Or to wonder how they seem to “have it all together”.

I know it’s easy and almost second nature to see another however-year-old that’s making great money, just got engaged, or bought a new house and to want to compare their life to your own. But don’t forget that where you are now, is not your forever. We all have our own journey to our destiny. 

“I’m a strong believer that what is meant for you will always be for you.”

However, our destinies are ever-changing.

You may have grown up in a way that created one path for you, perhaps an easier path to follow. However, if you decide that that path is no longer one you want to follow, then you can change your destiny. You can decide to alter your course or to even start over. 

Maybe that degree you got means absolutely nothing to you now. Maybe it’s time to end that unhealthy relationship, whether it be romantic, platonic, or even familial. 

You’re in charge of your destiny. 

Just because the Universe has paved the way for you to follow one path or has made it infinitely more difficult to follow any other, does not mean that one path is the path you MUST follow.

If you find the courage to push those boundaries; to challenge what the Universe has told you, you’ll find that the Universe can be very rewarding to those willing to press those bounds. Those willing to decide for themselves, “Yeah Universe, I know this is what you gave me – but I want more.”

I am currently in the process of demanding more.

And let me be frank, changing your destiny will not be easy. Almost nothing good that ever comes to you in this life will come easily. And that’s okay.

On those hard days, when you’re comparing yourself to the person making great money or the person you’re “doing better than”, you have to be mindful that these comparisons are not healthy, and most importantly, they’re not relevant. The only comparison that should matter is the one between your past self and your current self. The comparison between where you were and where you are now.

But, I get it. I too am guilty of these negative comparisons and getting in my own head. On those days, there are a few things I do to help recenter myself. 

• Disconnect for a Day: Although social media can be a fun and fulfilling place, it can also be a source of negative thinking and constant comparison. Take a day away from all of the engagement announcements and dancing videos and find something in your own life that brings you joy. For me, I love to disconnect by throwing a craft together, or even just going for a walk with my dog can help redirect my thoughts.
• Positive Self Talk: Put yourself in check. By this I mean, when I find myself making those comparisons or even just struggling with adulthood in general, I remind myself that: 
  1. I’ve come a hell of a long way
  2. I am not in competition with anyone but myself
  3. Everyone is on their own path to their own destiny, and my journey is only mine
• Ground in Gratitude: This one is pretty straightforward, in that I’ll simply just list or say out loud all of the things in my life that are going well and that I appreciate. It may seem like a very elementary method, but it’s something that has really helped me on the days when every single thing goes wrong. On those days I am eternally more grateful for my support system and the opportunity to make tomorrow a better one.

So, the next time you find yourself, standing at the fence and thinking, “Damn, that grass sure looks greener,” give these three recentering methods a try.

And remember, your grass too will grow – when you choose to nourish it.